commodification conquered part 2

By now, I know the stages well. The weeks and days preceding an important event or deadline--I know my emotions, my jubilations, my moments of stress. Each moment has its place and purpose. Yesterday was the eye of the storm; today the wind started whipping my face and the trees starting falling. A time for doubting, when you seem to have jumped into a lake of ice and wonder how you could have forgotten that not only do you not know how to swim, but the rope intended to pull you out isn't tied to anything. You begin thrashing and can only think about you, your impending doom, and the trees crash along the shore. You're angry that you're stressed, you waste all your time trying to de-stress, and meanwhile the new ice forms around you.

This time it's a series of events, projects, and unfinished conversations. The smallest: Dartmouth Ends Hunger meals week is next week and it's time to fear that we might not accomplish, philosophically, what I would dream to accomplish. Tabling outside of the dining hall is miserable and I'm worried the publicity guy isn't coming through. I start doing things myself, taking on all the loose ends and promising myself I can do it.

I sense the storm. I want to stand up and be a rock.

I recall when souls converged during conversation last night and I order a smoothie. My to-do list buries me. My smoothie slips from my bike and I stop three lanes of traffic, backed up two blocks, to pick up the remains.
I laugh and dare the clouds to rain. I climb a tree I haven't climbed in months; I reach each tricky spot and my shoes slip and I think "this is the storm, this is your test, have you forgotten how to climb?" I think of community and the tree becomes the anchor for my rope; it pulls me from the lake of its own strength and warms me softly.

Brian asks what I'm doing and I think he's too smart to ask such a strange question. I've forgotten most people no longer eat peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches perched 40 feet above ground. Wholewheat has never tasted so good, and eating has never been so fulfilling. Storm Stage is conquered in record time: 2 hours, 33 minutes.