Prayin till the cows come home: Part II
Maybe if ever re-read my posts I would say less stupid things. If you don't mind ignoring the first large section of my post (everything before the scripture), I'll try not to lie so profusely in this one.
What really never bothered me is that I don't regularly do the on-your-knees-Wesley-style big-chunks-of-time prayer-thoughts-only kind of praying except when I'm in church (and that's because it's intermingled with hymns etc.) or with a group. Figuring out why without straying into rationalization is tricky, because I'm not sure if I should be doing more or not. But I'll throw out a few possibilities and maybe they're legitimately theological and maybe they're just me being silly. You be the judge. (And we can ask God, too).
I think the biggest reason is because of my lifestyle here at school. Not only is it easy to get some alone time (which I never needed tons of anyway), most of the activities I do involving hefty multi-tasking. I try to keep life as fluid and decompartmentalized as possible--and that's a luxury I can have here. While writing this post for instance i'm working on getting circulation back in my toes (ice climbing class today) by practicing a samba bass pattern to strengthn my kick drum ankle, figuring out the lyrics to an Underoath song, and eating dinner. In a couple minutes a suitemate will walk in and maybe we'll have a discussion about prayer (or whatever she's thinking about). There's no such thing as a "time" for being with God and a "time" for studying and a "time" for having fun, etc...while I indeed seek to balance work, play, study, etc., they flow into one another. In other words, I don't need a big chunk of time with God in the morning to prep me for the day because God and I are chillin all day long. It's a level of consciousness, of constant love, questions, confusion, joy, angst, listening, shared in the space that is prayer. When I learn about a new injustice, I know that my heightened passion and disgust will be sustained by the lifeblood of ubuntu and God's love. When I learn that a friend needs consolation or encouragement and I can't be present, I set aside my own reality for a few moments to dwell with God in hers. I guess what I'm trying to say is it's not like I stop and say "God, be with her" and go about my work; I'm already praying and as I feel the pain of my friend God knows that my prayer for her is real. I don't feel like I'm asking for anything special or like I'm being me-and-my-needs-focused because God is also with me in every other part of my life.
It doesn't mean I don't take time to read daily email devos and at least a few blogs or sermons and it doesn't mean i don't take time to think about my state of mind and to evaluate my day/week/life with God. But because I'm not doing high-stress activities most of the time (well, what is high-stress for me) I don't need to set aside time for meditation and prayer-only, because it's integrated into my life.
Maybe I should add that it hasn't always been this way. For much of highschool I needed that 30 min. of devotional time, for various reasons. And maybe in the future I'll need that concentrated "time with God" again.
OK, that was WAY too much about me. I'm curious--how is it for you guys? How do you define prayer and what place does it have in your life?
posted by Kris @ 9:36 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
when i was in confirmation, we were given little rocks wrapped in cloth, and they were called our "prayer rocks." we were told to put the prayer rocks on our pillow to remind us to pray before we slept. 9th grade was definitely the year i talked to God the most. Every night i would tell God about my problems at school, my hopes for my friends and family, and i would end each prayer with "thank you." more than anything, it was a time at the end of the day when i could collect all of my thoughts and worries and release them. i still can't figure out whether praying so often gave me a more positive/less stressed attitude or not, but i know that i would like to get back to that point sometime soon.
i've never felt that a prayer of mine has been "answered," but i don't think that's the point of prayer. i see it as more as an opportunity for a reality check with God. prayer reminds me what is important and keeps me from dwelling on the trivial. i mean, it seems pretty ridiculous to pray for maintaining a 4.0 or that some person will say yes to an invitation to the dance. for me, prayer is a time to receive comfort and direction from God; it is a time to rethink one's life and make appropriate changes.
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