United by the things that really matter

I'm listening to guitarist Dean Magraw and it occured to me that he sounds like home. Home, in the sense of Minnesota, for me (he conjures images of the progressive/organic general store where I saw him perform, and firewood, falling snow on soft pine needled ground, stretching Norway pines, bright blue lakes, and a hike with old friends)--but it got me thinking about music in general and why it's been such an important aspect/integration throughout humanity. Music is an extension of our human experience. I associated Magraw's playing with a few simple goodnesses--and maybe these good things are what draw our unjust mess, and beautiful diversity, of human existance together in similar experience.
Through my time at school so far I've meandered through democratization, the Cold War, colonization, geopolitics, 'Third World' development, Africa, gender, resistance movements...the realities of students from so many lives and ways of living...the communal musical experience of hand drumming...the heartening experience of successful activism and of participating in and encouraging bettering the world...the breathtaking splendor of New England early morning hikes, climbs, and skies, the stunning comfort of winter moonlit walks through snow covered evergreens, the envigorating escape of a quick heave into my favorite climbing tree...religion, politics, civil rights, and the passion of Martin Luther King, Jr. and so many activists...theological debates and philosophical arguments...
and at least at this premature time in my human experience my reflection is that with learning comes both a heightened awareness of how little I know and a deeper understanding of some basic premises. No human life should ever be considered expendable, because what we have--all this beauty, all this pain--is so amazing that to deny it to one person is to deny a part of it to all of us. Every human deserves the simple rights to enough food, clean water, a place or realm to call home, and fellowship with other humans. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, perhaps? I can spew theories and realities and problems and solutions...but at the end of the day, what gives me hope and reason to breath is a dream that one day, the "simple" things--the natural environment and our natural companionship and community--can be enjoyed by all.

Intersections

"I'm not ready to believe that God would will suffering," I said, and we talked about how she knows everything happens for a reason and I'm certain nothing has to happen for a reason and the meaning of both our quests for Heaven looked guant with hunger.
What I didn't realize was that when she took part of me and I took part of her we revealed a small part of the truth that will bring forth the Kingdom we both dream of.
"I'm scared I don't know how to help you," I said, and we talked about what it means to believe in something you don't understand and we searched for rationality in human actions and our explanations shattered when faced with our need to explain.
What I didn't realize was that though his tears were real when I only wished I had the capacity to cry, he felt our human connection and as my burdens became his burdens and his burdens became mine we stumbled upon more beauty than any philosopher could reason into existence.
"I'm straddling a dichotomy between faith and reason," I said, and we talked about how much atrocity faith has caused and how much reason has destructed and goodness seemed to fade into the oblivion of an absurd world.
What I didn't realize was that faith and reason intersect at love, and such an absurdity is all that holds the universe together.

Why I love Dartmouth

A few sound bytes from my time here (spoken by a wide variety of people): [brackets surround the context that may be helpful].

"It took me forever to find any pregnant worms today."

"OK, good, thanks for your help guys. So here's enough Lasagna trays for 400 people, in this warmer [a 6' tall, 3' deep chest of heaver plastic, resembling a freezer]. See those tiki torches over there? [Points across 500 yards of hilly, icy, snow covered golf course]. Just get this over there and meet me at the welcome tent in 15 minutes." [jogs away]
...[much grunting noise]. "I don't think we can carry this, guys." [snowmobile drives up] "Yes, a lasagnamobile!"

"Well, I sort of told my parents I was going to France because that's where my connection was. Then I flew to Cameroon."

Email correspondance among Darfur Action group exec committee:
"I can't make the exec meeting because I'm having lunch with President Wright...if there's anything i should bring up, let me know."
Response: "I can't make it either because I'm having lunch with Kofi Anaan. If there's anything i should bring up, let me know."

[Insults in the suite go something like this:] "You degenerate jerk!"
"Sorry, it's just been inculcated in me since birth." "I cannot believe you just said inculcated."

"Have you gotten the chance to sign the petition to stop funding genocide in Sudan?" "Well, I'm not sure if ..." [the kid's friend:] "What kind of person are you, man! You support genocide? Sign the petition dude! --Hey, I'm really sorry my friend is such a jerk." [the friend:] "I just wanna learn more about it before I sign, ok? Do you have any more info I could read up on?"

[iceclimbing PE class] "The turn is right here, right by this big no tresspassing sign." "So this is a superfund site?" "Yeah, supposedly has toxic levels of arsenic, iron, and copper. But I've swum in the river, it's fine. Real cool turqoise color. Just don't drink it."

[6 am greeting] "Good morning." "Good night."

[11:16pm] "Hey, is your roommate around?" "Um, I think she's taking a nap."

[1 am] "Are you sure it's not too late?" "Oh, this is an ethnic party. They'll be going strong till 3 at least."

[while covering doorway with red, white and blue postal tape] "She's from Indonesia, right? She'll love the British flag."

"Man, I wanna come but I should probably start this 8 page paper." "When's it due?" "In 5 hours."

[0 degrees Fahrenheit, 10pm, camped 1.5 miles from Hanover on the Appalachian Trail, no fire, 3 inches of snow, crawling into sleeping bags] "Guys, I really have want some icecream." [minutes later]. "We could make it to the Co-Op and back in an hour and a half." [minutes later]. "I'm serious. Let's go."

"Hey, tell me your life story." "Oh, it's not that interesting. I was born in Australia, sailed to the U.S. till I was 7 or 8 and have pretty much spent the rest of my life putsing around the Bahamas."

[band cheer] "2, 4, 6, 8, our team is really great! 3, 5, 7, 9, you all lead petty little lives and live in a cultural wasteland, FIGHT!"

Expendable lives?

[Albert Camus] could not accept a view of the world in which individual human beings were considered expendable, whatever the end...His sense of injustice was closely tied to his passionate concern that no human being be wantonly cheated of his fragile chance to experience happiness as well as pain, and thereby be excluded from the full glory of life itself.
~Germaine Bree, Camus and Sartre, 65-66.

Pakistan Condemns Purported CIA Air Strike
The Associated Press
Saturday 14 January 2006

Damadola, Pakistan - Pakistan on Saturday condemned a purported CIA air strike on a border village that officials said unsuccessfully targeted al-Qaida's second-in-command, and said it was protesting to the US Embassy over the attack that killed at least 17 people.
Thousands of local tribesmen, chanting "God is Great," demonstrated against the attack, claiming the victims were local villagers without terrorist links and had never hosted Ayman al-Zawahri.
Two senior Pakistani officials told The Associated Press that the CIA acted on incorrect information in launching the attack early Friday in the northwestern village of Damadola, near the Afghan border.
Citing unidentified American intelligence officials, US news networks reported that CIA-operated Predator drone aircraft carried out the missile strike because al-Zawahri, Osama bin Laden's top lieutenant, was thought to be at a compound in the village or about to arrive.
"Their information was wrong, and our investigations conclude that they acted on a false information," said a senior Pakistani intelligence official with direct knowledge of Pakistan's investigations into the attack.
.......
What would Jesus do? I think he'd say screw the Pharisees. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love them and isn't greatly saddened by their actions. Just means that what’s not God about them is unacceptable to him. Which in the case of the Pharisees, and many of today's politicians and CEO's, was/is a big Eskimo style parka worth of corrupt insulation. For the pharisees, it was corrupt insulation from what the people really needed to be human--not laws or rejection for mistakes (or rejection for who they were), but forgiveness and recognition of innate human worth. For today's powerful, it's corrupt insulation from the consequences of their decisions that certain lives are expendable. We're called to refuse to accept that insulation, to beat it down and to hate it and to live our lives against it, without constraint. Jesus died to show us how.

Prayin till the cows come home: Part II

Maybe if ever re-read my posts I would say less stupid things. If you don't mind ignoring the first large section of my post (everything before the scripture), I'll try not to lie so profusely in this one.

What really never bothered me is that I don't regularly do the on-your-knees-Wesley-style big-chunks-of-time prayer-thoughts-only kind of praying except when I'm in church (and that's because it's intermingled with hymns etc.) or with a group. Figuring out why without straying into rationalization is tricky, because I'm not sure if I should be doing more or not. But I'll throw out a few possibilities and maybe they're legitimately theological and maybe they're just me being silly. You be the judge. (And we can ask God, too).
I think the biggest reason is because of my lifestyle here at school. Not only is it easy to get some alone time (which I never needed tons of anyway), most of the activities I do involving hefty multi-tasking. I try to keep life as fluid and decompartmentalized as possible--and that's a luxury I can have here. While writing this post for instance i'm working on getting circulation back in my toes (ice climbing class today) by practicing a samba bass pattern to strengthn my kick drum ankle, figuring out the lyrics to an Underoath song, and eating dinner. In a couple minutes a suitemate will walk in and maybe we'll have a discussion about prayer (or whatever she's thinking about). There's no such thing as a "time" for being with God and a "time" for studying and a "time" for having fun, etc...while I indeed seek to balance work, play, study, etc., they flow into one another. In other words, I don't need a big chunk of time with God in the morning to prep me for the day because God and I are chillin all day long. It's a level of consciousness, of constant love, questions, confusion, joy, angst, listening, shared in the space that is prayer. When I learn about a new injustice, I know that my heightened passion and disgust will be sustained by the lifeblood of ubuntu and God's love. When I learn that a friend needs consolation or encouragement and I can't be present, I set aside my own reality for a few moments to dwell with God in hers. I guess what I'm trying to say is it's not like I stop and say "God, be with her" and go about my work; I'm already praying and as I feel the pain of my friend God knows that my prayer for her is real. I don't feel like I'm asking for anything special or like I'm being me-and-my-needs-focused because God is also with me in every other part of my life.
It doesn't mean I don't take time to read daily email devos and at least a few blogs or sermons and it doesn't mean i don't take time to think about my state of mind and to evaluate my day/week/life with God. But because I'm not doing high-stress activities most of the time (well, what is high-stress for me) I don't need to set aside time for meditation and prayer-only, because it's integrated into my life.
Maybe I should add that it hasn't always been this way. For much of highschool I needed that 30 min. of devotional time, for various reasons. And maybe in the future I'll need that concentrated "time with God" again.

OK, that was WAY too much about me. I'm curious--how is it for you guys? How do you define prayer and what place does it have in your life?

Prayin till the cows come home

OK, i admit it. I'm a sucky pray-er. I've never been the meditative type--sure, i spend a lot of time thinking but my most productive thinking is done out loud, to someone with whom I'm engaged in conversation. I always feel like i'm missing something when I think too much on my own. But honestly, it never really bothered me that the only times i'm solely focused on God in prayer tends to be in church (when i'm surrounded by people who are theoretically praying as well) or when I'm praying out loud in a group. Why? Hopefully by the end of this post i'll have that figured out...

I pulled out the trusy concordance (i.e. biblegateway.com) and thought it was funny that I got 365 responses including 'pray'...one for each day?
Here's a sampling (NIV):
Genesis 20:17Then Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech, his wife and his slave girls so they could have children again
Exodus 8:9Moses said to Pharaoh, "I leave to you the honor of setting the time for me to pray for you and your officials and your people that you and your houses may be rid of the frogs, except for those that remain in the Nile."
Deuteronomy 4:7What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the LORD our God is near us whenever we pray to him?
1 Samuel 1:10In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD.
1 Samuel 1:13Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk
1 Kings 18:36At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: "O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command.
2 Kings 4:33 He went in, shut the door on the two of them and prayed to the LORD.
2 Chronicles 7:14if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.
Nehemiah 1:4When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.
Job 21:15Who is the Almighty, that we should serve him? What would we gain by praying to him?'
Psalm 109:4In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer.
Proverbs 15:29The LORD is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the righteous.
Isaiah 44:17From the rest he makes a god, his idol; he bows down to it and worships. He prays to it and says, "Save me; you are my god."
Jonah 2:7"When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, LORD, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple.
Matthew 5:44But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
Matthew 6:5"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.
Mark 11:25And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."
Mark 14:35Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him.
John 17:20"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message
Acts 1:14They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers.
Acts 10:2He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly.
Romans 12:12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 15:30I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.
2 Corinthians 9:14And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you.
Ephesians 1:16I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.
Ephesians 6:18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
1 Timothy 2:8I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing.

You know, I think this is going to be a two part entry. Let's think this over, pray about it, and continue soon! :-)

Oh My.

Gotta say, Pat Robertson does make my life exciting. Too bad he's real.
Found this via www.wesleyblog.com: http://www.guardian.co.uk/israel/Story/0,2763,1677557,00.html

A little love

Sometimes it’s blinding, like on a clear, cold winter day when you look out onto a field of pure, white snow. You throw your arms open and wish you could sprint and never get tired, or that you could climb or shovel or dig or ski or snowshoe or fly. You succumb your body to gravity and the snow encloses you, slides icily down your back and numbs your wrists in between your sleeves and your mittens. And it’s perfect, that moment, because there’s nothing else in the world but you and the snow, and you love it, you love absolutely everything about it. For that instant your mind blurs into the snow and merged, you reach perfection. You take off your jacket because it insulates you too much from the snow…you shiver and let the chill run through you, you embrace the cold and laugh as a snowball bites into your cheek.
Sometimes it’s blinding like the snow, this love for humanity. Because you can’t concentrate on anything except how you love people so much you just want to give them a hug and listen to their stories and watch them be fascinated by physics or Mozart or Shakespeare. You watch them work all summer in a snack bar to pay for their son’s trip to Mexico with his girlfriend, and help them remember to pick up the hot dog buns on their way home from church, and you try to explain that you don’t think you’re better than them, that you just have so many thoughts going on in your head that they don’t want to understand, how can they expect you to be interested in what kind of paper towels work best? And you’re so angry that they don’t care about the rest of the world the way you do and that they worship the American flag as if it were a beautiful savior and it’s blasphemous to say I like Swiss knives better than American knives but somehow that just makes you love them more because they don’t know how it feels to have the world on their shoulders and you don’t know how it feels to love a son so much that you’d work all summer just so he can see Mexico.

Sometimes it’s torture, like in What Dreams May Come when he goes to hell to get his wife and all he wants is to experience what she is experiencing, because he needs to be able to say “I understand and I love you.” Like when their mind only sees work and their body only feels tired and you can't comprehend the pain because bread has never been God for you. Or when their nine year old eyes stare at you from a national geographic and their nine year old hands hold a rifle and their nine year old feet run from a raped childhood and you can't even cry because you love them but there are thousands of them and when you were nine you got stuck in a tree and had to be rescued by a best friend's dad. Or when they're serving life for knifing a kid in a fight and you can blame it on the ghetto or the system but they didn't have to pull the knife and they're not sorry for what they did and you want to forgive them but the kid was your friend's brother and someone should have loved the convict earlier but now the kid is dead. Or when they decide to go to war and they don't tell the truth and the protestors mean nothing and the dead children mean nothing and the trapped civilians mean nothing and the ruined lives mean nothing and they go to their ranch for vacation but you've never flown in your own jet or had lobbyists breathing down your back or fought against 1/4 of the country who thinks your IQ is embarrassing. Or when they enlist and are shipped to fight in that war but don't see a day of combat and when the chance comes all they want is to kill and you want them to be strong and loving but you've never been the target of a sniper's gun.

But always it's perfect, because it's all we have that connects us and it's all we are when our agendas are gone and our walls are torn down;
Always it's right, because without it we can only be alone and we are even less than what we were when we were born because even as babies someone held us;
Always it's just, because what we deserve is to be loved and to love and Always it's what makes us human.